Virginity and losing it
Virginity is the state of not yet having engaged in sexual intercourse. It is impossible to see if a man or woman is a virgin just by looking at them. Virginity is a concept—there is no medical or biological definition of virginity. It is a mythologised status, the idea of a transition from one state to another, an initiation after which the informal status of a person has changed.
Having sex for the first time can be a source of stress and anxiety. This helps explain one of the most enduring myths about the subject—that the first penetration is always painful for the woman. Fear and worry cause the muscles of the vagina to contract, inhibit vaginal lubrication, and hinder penetration. But this doesn’t have to be the case.
The first time is often unforgettable but if your memories are wonderful, you are one of the lucky ones. More often than not people fumble their way through and have a hard time communicating about it productively.
Contrary to what some impatient lovers might want you to believe, it is possible to get pregnant the very first time you make love, so it is important to use contraception to avoid an unwanted pregnancy and to keep yourself safe from STDs. If you are not using contraception yet, ask your doctor for advice about how to get started.
There is no perfect age or time to lose your virginity and there is no need to hurry! It must be your own personal decision; don’t let your peers pressure you into taking a step that you aren’t sure about! The right time is when it feels right for you, and there is plenty of time to explore your sexuality.
Can a tampon break the hymen? Should a virgin have a pelvic exam? Can my partner see if I’m a virgin? To read more about this topic, click here.
